I can't believe that it has been three years since my last post, so I will do a quick summary update on our lives since then. After discovering that Jeffrey is allergic to pets that shed, we had to return our beloved Willow to ARF and let them find her a new forever home, which I was told did not take long at all. We have moved three times since 2012, not much fun, but this last move was finally into our own house!! We love it to say the least. I will post pictures after getting them all downloaded.
Medically speaking, a LOT has happened to me. Let me take you back 35 years ago, I was 2 years old. I was running in a department store, playing hide and seek from my mom when I slipped and fell on newly waxed floors. I hit my head so hard that I started having seizures and continued to have them until I was 7 years old. During this time, I had Focal Seizures. This type of seizure basically looks like you are in a catatonic state for about 2 minutes. This is the story that I have been told all of my life; however, in the last few years, I have since learned the truth that it is genetic and I got it honestly from my maternal grandmother who passed away long before I was even a twinkle in my mommas eye. My grandmother had grand-mal seizures and a brain tumor, and back in her time, the only thing doctors felt was appropriate to treat her with was medicine that barely kept her functioning in a mental institution. She was not allowed to be alone, due to her seizure activity, but some random worker allowed her to climb a ladder to help decorate for a holiday. Once atop the ladder, she seized and fell off the ladder and succumbed to her injuries. I believe that my mom was around 16-18 years old when she passed away.
Seizures skip a generation, so my mom got lucky; I, however, did not. I know this now. From 7-20 years old, I led a normal life and didn't have any health problems. One day while in college, I just blacked out in my anatomy class and had a grand-mal seizure. Naturally, the paramedics were called and I believe my Aunt Sharon came to pick me up and take me to the hospital to avoid a costly ambulance ride. Scared to death about what had just happened, I was led into the ER and hustle and bustle of all the workers made me nervous. I had an MRI and a EEG and met the neurologist, who then told me that I had a quarter size pineal cyst in the center of my brain and that I shouldn't worry about it, because it was in a position that he could not get to it without killing me in the process. He gave a little laugh, but I did not find his candor funny by any means. Suddenly, I am flashing back to my grandmother and starting to worry. I didn't have another episode for a couple of years.
In 2001, at the age of 23, I gave birth to my son Tyler and when he turned a year old, I started having seizures again. Although I didn't realize what was happening at the time of occurrence, I do now. We were home alone and I remember thinking I was having a heart attack and calling my sister at college and telling her what was happening. She told me to chew up an aspirin and she would call for help. I remember grabbing Tyler, and holding onto him tightly and waking up a few minutes later and him crying over me. As scared as I was when I woke up, I cant imagine what my baby boy must have been thinking when he couldn't get me to wake up. The next time it happened, I was with my mom and sister in the kitchen...and we were laughing hysterically at a joke or a story that someone was telling and I blacked out and hit my head on the stove. I assumed that I laughed so hard that I cut off my air supply in some way, but that wasn't it either. Over the years, I have randomly had 1-2 grand-mal seizures a year and every time, I lose parts of my memory. I will have an attack and be found by someone, my face bloodied from whatever I hit, and have no recollection at all of what just happened.
In 2012, I was teaching my class of 2nd graders when I had an attack and was rushed by ambulance to the ER and was told that I had had a grand-mal seizure after blacking out and falling face first into my desk. My students were so scared and seeing me like that....those poor babies. That incident left me with a huge black eye that looked like I had been in the ring with Mike Tyson and beaten with a bat. The school allowed me to come back to work; however, I could not come into contact with the students until my eye healed. I was literally hiding out in an a classroom and someone would have to bring me lunch if I didn't bring it myself, and then leave the premises before the kids lined up for the bus line. It was a horrible feeling. Suddenly, it seemed like things starting getting worse and worse for me. While in the ER for that episode, I was also diagnosed with Adult Onset Type 2 Diabetes and placed on insulin because my A1C levels were through the roof. Then after the urgency of my sister to have a mole looked at for years, I went to a dermatologist, and was then diagnosed with Stage 2 Malignant Melanoma. I mean come on!! Could my life get any worse at this point?? All I kept thinking about was that I was not ready to leave my little boy, who isn't so little anymore but will always be my baby.
Fast forward to December 28, 2014...the day before my 37th birthday. It was a beautiful day, and my family and I had just left church and decided to go get lunch before going home. As we were sitting in the booth eating our meal, I had a grand-mal seizure of epic proportions. I was on the inside of the booth, but somehow wound up on the floor on the other side of my husband. When I woke up, there were two paramedics helping back into the booth and asking me if I wanted to go to the hospital. I remember asking them why I would want to go to the hospital and why I was wet. They told me that I had just seized and needed medical attention. This time, I lost all control of my bodily functions and peed all over myself and hit my face on the table. I looked down and had blood all over my shirt, and face. I immediately began to cry because not only did I once again scare the crap out of my family, but I felt humiliation because the restaurant was packed, and I couldn't remember anything. When I got to the ER, my mom met us there and as they were telling me what had just transpired in detail, I seized again, this time turning completely black and my oxygen level dropped to 0. I was admitted and didn't wake up until the next night...on my birthday. Welcome to 37...
That was the last time I have had a grand-mal seizure, and have been put on some high powered medicine to control them. Since being placed on the medicine, I have not been able to drive my car and was told that I would not be allowed to drive for 6 months, depending on whether or not I have any more seizures while on the medicine. I am now back to having the Focal seizures, and have had three at work in the last month. My doctor has increased my medicine, telling me that until he finds the right dose for me, I will likely continue to have the seizures. He also informed me that I will never recover my memory. I have noticed that I can not remember the little things anymore either. That is very troubling to me as well. Focal seizures are just as bad, the only difference is I'm not losing me memory when they occur. I have been prayed over, hands laid upon me, taking my medicine and watched over like a hawk by my family and coworkers....but it doesn't seem to get better. I pray every day that the Lord will take this from me and allow me to see my son grow into an old man one day. That is my biggest fear...he is 14 now, what if.....??????????
We have been educating him on how to help me and what to do if he is around again, when it happens and that it is genetic and skips a generation. He has informed us that he will not have children because he doesn't want to witness them going through what he sees me endure. That is so sad to me. So from now, this is my journey.
